Manchester United's Unique Pre-Season in Kildare
The fish van pulled up first.
“What’s the crowd for?” the driver asked, eyeing the cluster of cameras and kids outside Carton House.
“Manchester United are staying here.”
“Jaysus! Must be their first time in Europe this season.”
Cruel. But not entirely without sting.
Because this is where United are now: a global superclub on tour without actually being in Europe, killing time in Kildare during a 24-day gap between fixtures, trying to look like contenders for a Champions League place while the record books keep reminding everyone it’s 13 years since they last won the Premier League.
Outside the hotel, none of that mattered. The throng of youngsters lining the entrance on Tuesday morning didn’t come for history lessons. They came for selfies and signatures, for a glimpse of Bruno Fernandes, whose arrival sparked a shriek loud enough to wake the dead. Or at least clear the sinuses.
It sounded less like a training camp, more like a Westlife reunion. Fitting, then, that Nicky Byrne was inside, waiting to watch the session.
“Woody! Woody!” he roared when he spotted Jonathan Woodgate, now part of Michael Carrick’s coaching staff. The two former Leeds United youth-team colleagues embraced in the doorway, an old Elland Road bond briefly stealing the scene from the modern-day circus.
Around them, the crossover of codes continued. Paul Flynn and Carla Rowe, serial All-Ireland winners with Dublin and owners of 12 medals between them, watched on too. Croke Park is their backyard, but on August 12th it will belong to United and Leeds for a friendly that feels more like a commercial pilgrimage than a football necessity.
Whether all of United’s current stars make that trip is another matter.
“One more year, Casemiro!” came the shout from a young fan as the Brazilian midfielder went through his warm-up. The chant has followed him ever since he confirmed he would leave the club at the end of the season, a plea that has become the soundtrack to his farewell tour.
Casemiro has admitted the song makes his wife cry. Whether that’s down to the affection pouring from the stands or the prospect of another year living in Manchester, he didn’t specify.
For now, United are parked in Kildare, resting, resetting, and selling the brand. Their early exits from the League Cup and FA Cup, combined with the absence of European football, have handed Carrick’s squad an unusually long mid-season pause. Between Bournemouth, their last outing, and Leeds on Monday, lies a 24-day stretch that would normally be unthinkable for a club of this size.
A canny breather, if they turn it into a late surge for a Champions League spot. A damning symbol of decline if they don’t.
Their presence has knock-on effects, even here. Armagh’s footballers arrived at Carton House for their own training camp before a championship clash with Tyrone, only to find the pitches laid out for soccer rather than Gaelic football. The disruption could have sparked friction. Instead, Oisín Conaty, an Armagh player and Liverpool supporter, took the high road. United, he quipped, needed the training more than Armagh.
He might not be wrong.
When the session wrapped, Amad Diallo and Bryan Mbeumo stepped in front of the media, a sizeable portion of which had crossed the Irish Sea to watch a glorified tune-up. Mbeumo, who joined United from Brentford last summer in a €75 million deal, dutifully nodded to the occasion, even if Croke Park clearly isn’t on his regular stadium list.
“Playing Leeds is a big rivalry for the club, it’s going to be good to play this kind of game especially in this historic stadium and big stadium. We have a big community of fans here. We’re very excited,” he said, ticking off the boxes: rivalry, history, fanbase, excitement.
He spoke with more ease about Brentford and the man now in charge there, Keith Andrews. The Cameroon international credited his former coach for the Bees’ rise.
“He’d been a big part of our success last season, he looked after the set pieces but he had already the capacity to talk, to motivate, to bring the best out of ourselves. I’m not really surprised by what he’s doing this season, especially because they kept a strong group. I am really happy for what he is doing.”
The obvious question, of course, hangs over United, not Brentford.
Who will be United’s gaffer next season?
“It’s not for us as players to decide,” came the line from both Mbeumo and Diallo. No dressing-room coup, no public lobbying, just the familiar, careful step around a live wire.
They did, though, make it clear what they think of the man currently in charge. Carrick, the long-serving midfielder turned interim manager, has settled quickly into the role.
“He knows the journey of the club, he knows how to talk to us as well, I think it’s been easier because he knew the house,” said Mbeumo.
He knew the house. That phrase lingers. Because this, more than anything, is United’s challenge: to feel like themselves again. To stop being a travelling brand and start being a functioning football team, one that doesn’t need a 24-day break to look refreshed, one that doesn’t rely on nostalgia to fill the gaps where trophies used to be.
By early afternoon, the players drifted off towards lunch, their work for the day done. The fish van had long since gone. The kids began to scatter, clutching autographs and phone photos, their memories of glory days borrowed from parents rather than lived for themselves.
United will face Leeds at Croke Park in August, sell out another stadium, and belt out the old songs. The real test, though, waits not in Ireland but back across the water, where this club must decide who leads them and what they want to be in a season that can’t just be about chants, friendlies, and what used to be.
